Brands and Brandies
“What kind of computer do you have?” “Intel-based, just like everyone else.” “Huh?”
I was supposed to “Dell” or “Gateway” or “HP” or “Apple”. I dislike computers. A lot of people think that because I’m “good with computers” that I have some affinity for them. I don’t. A carpenter doesn’t get all excited talking about their hammer. Computers are disposable tools that enable me to do my job, or have some entertainment, or communicate some information. I can’t wait until we have neural implants that our Shadowy Overlords stick in our ears so that we don’t need computers anymore. Their obsolescence will be celebrated.
I dislike, even more, brands. This person wouldn’t bother asking me what brand claw-hammer I have, or refrigerator, or probably even my car (although THOSE wars exist, so I hear, too). Yet in todays world of surfing YouTube on your iMac while drinking Starbucks Lattes on an AirPort Extreme wireless network listening to your iPod … oops is that your iPhone ringing? – Brand is all most people ask about. Heaven forbid we watch on-line videos on our computer while drinking coffee over wireless listing to our music player… hmmm, is that your phone ringing?
My computer, built from commodity off-the-shelf parts just like everyone else’s, can run all the same software of any branded computer. It can run the MacOS, or DellOS or GatewayOS. It may even be one of those. But maybe it isn’t. And it doesn’t matter. A computer is a TOOL. A TOOL. Its function is to do something. Who blessed it is irrelevant: Whether Mike Dell or Steve Jobs or Bob Gateway waved their Holy Hands over my computer does not change it. It is a TOOL.
My hammer was bought at the Dollar Store 7-10 years ago. If I need a new one, I’m going to buy the cheapest I can find with a forged head. That’s all I care about: forged head.
My fridge came with my house when I bought it. I think it is Sears brand (Kenmore?). If I need a new one, I’m going to buy the largest I can for the least amount of money (picture the supply-demand graph from High School economics, and circle the intersection). That’s all I care about: Capacity for cost.
My car is a Dodge. When I need a new one I’m going to buy the cheapest car that has a 6-cylinder engine and best fuel economy.. oh, and anti-lock brakes and a moon-roof… and an automatic transmission. That’s it. That’s all I care about.
When people ask me if they should buy a brandX vs. brandY computer, I generally tell them “whatever makes you feel better”, weighted with any positive or negative experiences they’ve had with either X or Y.
Stop caring about brands. Stop caring about the logo. Stop caring about your illusion of cool.
Start caring about features you need or want. Start caring about value.
Unhook yourself from the Flashy Overlords of Marketing and Hipness.
(Yes, this applies to Music Players, Cell Phones, TVs, DVRs, etc. etc. as well. Rob, thanks for sending me over the deep end. 
)
UPDATE: Of course, if you’ve had three HP laptops and they’ve met or exceeded your needs/wants you should give them bonus points. Of course, if you’ve had to send your MacBook back three times in two years (thanks, Dave) you should rate them down. As I said a few paragraphs ago, “weighted with any positive or negative experiences they’ve had with either X or Y” – I’m not advocating ditching experience: only ditching fervor and flash.
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By Jenica, March 4, 2008 @ 12:58 pm
Drew said this morning that we should use the George Bush Tax Rebate Part 2 to buy me a new computer, and so I’m trying to escape the deathray of Brand Loyalty and just figure out what I would want a new computer to DO for me.